on friday i went to west beach; i had to.
the weight of school mixed with a dreadful dose of apathy hung heavy on my shoulders. i had to go, to walk and breathe in the soccer practice air. runner's knee or not, i had to walk the length of west beach. i had to go listen to the waves crash to remind myself that life is a whole lot bigger than me. to remember that God is BIG and he is near. i had to know that life is more than school and tests and grades and books. more than friday nights with no plans and a closet full of clothes.
and as i walked my eye spotted little shards of sea glass that soon found their way into my hands, and in my pocket after that. glass worn smooth by the consistent lapping of waves, glass dulled from the rush of water and the rough grains of sand soon turned over and over in my palm. the glass did not shimmer and shine, boasting in all of its reflective glory- but still it stood out, a colorful contrast against the neutral shades of brown and black strewn across the shore.
as my hands passed over the smooth back of brokenness - a miniscule piece of a once resplendent bottle, i remembered: i too am broken. i need the consistency of God to wash over my edges, dulling all that is pride.
knowing i am a broken little shard, i'll trust that God also scours the shores of my life - walking up and down the coast, eyes anxiously seeking broken pieces of me, pieces that have been scattered as i stumble along - and when he finds them in their contrasting colors, he too will scoop them up in his hands. he'll run his fingers over them lovingly and place them in his pocket - dreaming of all that they will become.
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise."
In other news:
1. Last night in pottery class we were making mugs! Let me tell you, mugs are hard. I have a new appreciation for each mug I drink out of and the way they fit into my hand so perfectly. My mugs... they have character at best. They are optical illusions at worst. Our teacher was "amazed" at my ability to keep my mug centered on the wheel, and yet at the same time entirely uneven in shape and form. haha
2. I am ready for spring and bare feet and picnics and frisbee and grass and running in the gordon woods and open windows. mmmmmmmmm.
3. My family came to visit this weekend! : ) [ it was a little cold. ]